So I left my blog on a bad note.. haha but right now there are too many things to do and I don't know where to start. I hate to say it but I'm not getting into a UC. If I do, it will probably be merced or riverside but the names of those very colleges makes nicole think what? ew. lol I know that my friends won't determine where I go, I'll probably not end up with them because they're all a bunch of smarties. Hopefully people won't judge me by the reputation of the school I go to. I don't think i tried hard enough junior year, and my grades totally reflected that. To add to that I have a bunch of useless fluffy classes that don't show that I challenged myself. AP Psych.. WHY. Right now I just have to try my best on writing the greatest essay ever and just hope I can get in to somewhere good.
I forgot to put one of my favorite songs on september 21st like I did last year on my blog. I should have been born in the 70s or 80s :)
Wednesday, September 23, 2009
Wednesday, August 12, 2009
fucking asshole
my brother is so stupid. I think he just makes my life harder. or maybe he just makes everyone's life harder. I think he should just shut the fuck up right now and stop complaining before I slap him. How hard is it to brush your teeth? Why does he have to be so damn annoying. Every single time I try to help, I just make things worse. Try to tell your brother to go brush his teeth, but guess what, you get yelled at your dad for telling him to go brush it. Thanks. fml
Your mood can affect someone else's mood without knowing it. It's so easy to be grumpy and mad once you see someone else is. What's so hard is trying to keep a positive attitude through it all and trying to help that person to be happy again. Not saying we should be happy all the time, just that we should be aware of how we're feeling and what kind of mood we're displaying to everyone else.
yes I think about these things even when I'm mad.
Your mood can affect someone else's mood without knowing it. It's so easy to be grumpy and mad once you see someone else is. What's so hard is trying to keep a positive attitude through it all and trying to help that person to be happy again. Not saying we should be happy all the time, just that we should be aware of how we're feeling and what kind of mood we're displaying to everyone else.
yes I think about these things even when I'm mad.
Thursday, August 6, 2009
The guide to understanding me
The Nurturer
As an ISFJ, your primary mode of living is focused internally, where you takes things in via your five senses in a literal, concrete fashion. Your secondary mode is external, where you deal with things according to how you feel about them, or how they fit into your personal value system.
ISFJs live in a world that is concrete and kind. They are truly warm and kind-hearted, and want to believe the best of people. They value harmony and cooperation, and are likely to be very sensitive to other people's feelings. People value the ISFJ for their consideration and awareness, and their ability to bring out the best in others by their firm desire to believe the best.
ISFJs have a rich inner world that is not usually obvious to observers. They constantly take in information about people and situations that is personally important to them, and store it away. This tremendous store of information is usually startlingly accurate, because the ISFJ has an exceptional memory about things that are important to their value systems. It would not be uncommon for the ISFJ to remember a particular facial expression or conversation in precise detail years after the event occured, if the situation made an impression on the ISFJ.
ISFJs have a very clear idea of the way things should be, which they strive to attain. They value security and kindness, and respect traditions and laws. They tend to believe that existing systems are there because they work. Therefore, they're not likely to buy into doing things in a new way, unless they're shown in a concrete way why its better than the established method.
ISFJs learn best by doing, rather than by reading about something in a book, or applying theory. For this reason, they are not likely to be found in fields which require a lot of conceptual analysis or theory. They value practical application. Traditional methods of higher education, which require a lot of theorizing and abstraction, are likely to be a chore for the ISFJ. The ISFJ learns a task best by being shown its practical application. Once the task is learned, and its practical importance is understood, the ISFJ will faithfully and tirelessly carry through the task to completion. The ISFJ is extremely dependable.
The ISFJ has an extremely well-developed sense of space, function, and aesthetic appeal. For that reason, they're likely to have beautifully furnished, functional homes. They make extremely good interior decorators. This special ability, combined with their sensitivity to other's feelings and desires, makes them very likely to be great gift-givers - finding the right gift which will be truly appreciated by the recipient.
More so than other types, ISFJs are extremely aware of their own internal feelings, as well as other people's feelings. They do not usually express their own feelings, keeping things inside. If they are negative feelings, they may build up inside the ISFJ until they turn into firm judgments against individuals which are difficult to unseed, once set. Many ISFJs learn to express themselves, and find outlets for their powerful emotions.
Just as the ISFJ is not likely to express their feelings, they are also not likely to let on that they know how others are feeling. However, they will speak up when they feel another individual really needs help, and in such cases they can truly help others become aware of their feelings.
The ISFJ feels a strong sense of responsibility and duty. They take their responsibilities very seriously, and can be counted on to follow through. For this reason, people naturally tend to rely on them. The ISFJ has a difficult time saying "no" when asked to do something, and may become over-burdened. In such cases, the ISFJ does not usually express their difficulties to others, because they intensely dislike conflict, and because they tend to place other people's needs over their own. The ISFJ needs to learn to identify, value, and express their own needs, if they wish to avoid becoming over-worked and taken for granted.
ISFJs need positive feedback from others. In the absence of positive feedback, or in the face of criticism, the ISFJ gets discouraged, and may even become depressed. When down on themselves or under great stress, the ISFJ begins to imagine all of the things that might go critically wrong in their life. They have strong feelings of inadequacy, and become convinced that "everything is all wrong", or "I can't do anything right".
The ISFJ is warm, generous, and dependable. They have many special gifts to offer, in their sensitivity to others, and their strong ability to keep things running smoothly. They need to remember to not be overly critical of themselves, and to give themselves some of the warmth and love which they freely dispense to others.
Understanding you, Stephanie
People like you are quiet, gentle, and caring. When people first meet you you may seem reserved and cool. But once you get to know and care about someone, you are warm and very loyal. You tend to be cautious about jumping into social activities and may resist trying new experiences. Instead, you like spending time with one or two close, trusted friends or spending time alone, enjoying the things that really interest you. You are considerate, respectful, and sensitive, and usually find tension or conflict between people very uncomfortable. Since you have strong beliefs about right and wrong and try to always treat other people kindly, you may be easily hurt or offended by the insensitivity or callousness of others.
You are also unpretentious and down-to-earth. You speak clearly and literally, and want others to be equally explicit in explaining directions or stating their expectations of you. You tend to be selective about things like food and clothing, are usually tidy and organized, and prefer to be dressed appropriately for all occasions. You're also careful with your money and possessions. You are probably blessed with an excellent memory for details, especially facts about people, but may find it hard to read between the lines or deal with a lot of abstractions. Since you like to make a decision and stick with it, you are often annoyed when plans are changed suddenly. You're not a big risk taker and are happiest with a predictable daily routine. While you want to please the people close to you, you are rarely willing to compromise on really important issues.
Note: Based on our assessment, your personality type is "ISFJ."
Your Strengths and Blindspots
Everyone has strengths and weaknesses. The key to finding the best path for all people is by using their natural strengths and becoming aware of their natural blindspots.
Your strengths may include:
Thoroughly researching information and collecting relevant facts.
Making thoughtful decisions based on practical considerations.
Conducting organized, well-planned out research.
Impressing people that you are a hard-working, ethical, conscientious, person.
Being a good listener and not dominating the conversation.
Your blindspots may include:
Being too humble, and not presenting your accomplishments in the best light.
Appearing to be less enthusiastic than you may really be.
Not being open to explore possibilities that don't fit your current plan.
Not anticipating how present decisions may affect you in the future.
Lacking objectivity when making important decisions.
For a career to be satisfying for you, it should:
Allow you to use your talent for being accurate and remembering facts and details.
Let you work on tangible projects that help other people in some way.
Let you work behind the scenes, and not require lots of public interaction.
Is done in a stable, calm, and predictable environment.
Make good use of your conscientiousness and sound common sense.
Have clearly stated expectations and goals.
Let you focus your energy on one project at a time.
Give you plenty of time and space to do your work uninterrupted.
Your Preferred Learning Style:While ALL individuals are unique, people of the same type often learn best in similar ways. The following summarizes what you need in order to maximize learning.
Allow you plenty of time to reflect and prepare thoroughly.
Give you the option of working alone or with small groups.
Provide a predictable structure, clear expectations, and explicit instructions.
Cite real examples and stress the practical application of learning.
Provide a friendly, supportive, tension-free learning environment.
Reward you for accuracy, thoroughness, and conscientiousness.
As an ISFJ, your primary mode of living is focused internally, where you takes things in via your five senses in a literal, concrete fashion. Your secondary mode is external, where you deal with things according to how you feel about them, or how they fit into your personal value system.
ISFJs live in a world that is concrete and kind. They are truly warm and kind-hearted, and want to believe the best of people. They value harmony and cooperation, and are likely to be very sensitive to other people's feelings. People value the ISFJ for their consideration and awareness, and their ability to bring out the best in others by their firm desire to believe the best.
ISFJs have a rich inner world that is not usually obvious to observers. They constantly take in information about people and situations that is personally important to them, and store it away. This tremendous store of information is usually startlingly accurate, because the ISFJ has an exceptional memory about things that are important to their value systems. It would not be uncommon for the ISFJ to remember a particular facial expression or conversation in precise detail years after the event occured, if the situation made an impression on the ISFJ.
ISFJs have a very clear idea of the way things should be, which they strive to attain. They value security and kindness, and respect traditions and laws. They tend to believe that existing systems are there because they work. Therefore, they're not likely to buy into doing things in a new way, unless they're shown in a concrete way why its better than the established method.
ISFJs learn best by doing, rather than by reading about something in a book, or applying theory. For this reason, they are not likely to be found in fields which require a lot of conceptual analysis or theory. They value practical application. Traditional methods of higher education, which require a lot of theorizing and abstraction, are likely to be a chore for the ISFJ. The ISFJ learns a task best by being shown its practical application. Once the task is learned, and its practical importance is understood, the ISFJ will faithfully and tirelessly carry through the task to completion. The ISFJ is extremely dependable.
The ISFJ has an extremely well-developed sense of space, function, and aesthetic appeal. For that reason, they're likely to have beautifully furnished, functional homes. They make extremely good interior decorators. This special ability, combined with their sensitivity to other's feelings and desires, makes them very likely to be great gift-givers - finding the right gift which will be truly appreciated by the recipient.
More so than other types, ISFJs are extremely aware of their own internal feelings, as well as other people's feelings. They do not usually express their own feelings, keeping things inside. If they are negative feelings, they may build up inside the ISFJ until they turn into firm judgments against individuals which are difficult to unseed, once set. Many ISFJs learn to express themselves, and find outlets for their powerful emotions.
Just as the ISFJ is not likely to express their feelings, they are also not likely to let on that they know how others are feeling. However, they will speak up when they feel another individual really needs help, and in such cases they can truly help others become aware of their feelings.
The ISFJ feels a strong sense of responsibility and duty. They take their responsibilities very seriously, and can be counted on to follow through. For this reason, people naturally tend to rely on them. The ISFJ has a difficult time saying "no" when asked to do something, and may become over-burdened. In such cases, the ISFJ does not usually express their difficulties to others, because they intensely dislike conflict, and because they tend to place other people's needs over their own. The ISFJ needs to learn to identify, value, and express their own needs, if they wish to avoid becoming over-worked and taken for granted.
ISFJs need positive feedback from others. In the absence of positive feedback, or in the face of criticism, the ISFJ gets discouraged, and may even become depressed. When down on themselves or under great stress, the ISFJ begins to imagine all of the things that might go critically wrong in their life. They have strong feelings of inadequacy, and become convinced that "everything is all wrong", or "I can't do anything right".
The ISFJ is warm, generous, and dependable. They have many special gifts to offer, in their sensitivity to others, and their strong ability to keep things running smoothly. They need to remember to not be overly critical of themselves, and to give themselves some of the warmth and love which they freely dispense to others.
Understanding you, Stephanie
People like you are quiet, gentle, and caring. When people first meet you you may seem reserved and cool. But once you get to know and care about someone, you are warm and very loyal. You tend to be cautious about jumping into social activities and may resist trying new experiences. Instead, you like spending time with one or two close, trusted friends or spending time alone, enjoying the things that really interest you. You are considerate, respectful, and sensitive, and usually find tension or conflict between people very uncomfortable. Since you have strong beliefs about right and wrong and try to always treat other people kindly, you may be easily hurt or offended by the insensitivity or callousness of others.
You are also unpretentious and down-to-earth. You speak clearly and literally, and want others to be equally explicit in explaining directions or stating their expectations of you. You tend to be selective about things like food and clothing, are usually tidy and organized, and prefer to be dressed appropriately for all occasions. You're also careful with your money and possessions. You are probably blessed with an excellent memory for details, especially facts about people, but may find it hard to read between the lines or deal with a lot of abstractions. Since you like to make a decision and stick with it, you are often annoyed when plans are changed suddenly. You're not a big risk taker and are happiest with a predictable daily routine. While you want to please the people close to you, you are rarely willing to compromise on really important issues.
Note: Based on our assessment, your personality type is "ISFJ."
Your Strengths and Blindspots
Everyone has strengths and weaknesses. The key to finding the best path for all people is by using their natural strengths and becoming aware of their natural blindspots.
Your strengths may include:
Thoroughly researching information and collecting relevant facts.
Making thoughtful decisions based on practical considerations.
Conducting organized, well-planned out research.
Impressing people that you are a hard-working, ethical, conscientious, person.
Being a good listener and not dominating the conversation.
Your blindspots may include:
Being too humble, and not presenting your accomplishments in the best light.
Appearing to be less enthusiastic than you may really be.
Not being open to explore possibilities that don't fit your current plan.
Not anticipating how present decisions may affect you in the future.
Lacking objectivity when making important decisions.
For a career to be satisfying for you, it should:
Allow you to use your talent for being accurate and remembering facts and details.
Let you work on tangible projects that help other people in some way.
Let you work behind the scenes, and not require lots of public interaction.
Is done in a stable, calm, and predictable environment.
Make good use of your conscientiousness and sound common sense.
Have clearly stated expectations and goals.
Let you focus your energy on one project at a time.
Give you plenty of time and space to do your work uninterrupted.
Your Preferred Learning Style:While ALL individuals are unique, people of the same type often learn best in similar ways. The following summarizes what you need in order to maximize learning.
Allow you plenty of time to reflect and prepare thoroughly.
Give you the option of working alone or with small groups.
Provide a predictable structure, clear expectations, and explicit instructions.
Cite real examples and stress the practical application of learning.
Provide a friendly, supportive, tension-free learning environment.
Reward you for accuracy, thoroughness, and conscientiousness.
Tuesday, July 28, 2009
I'm coming out
Lyrics from Diana Ross's "I'm Coming Out" really relates to how I want to be senior year
There 's a new me coming out
And I just have to live
And I wanna give
I'm completely positive
I think this time around
I am gonna do it
Like you never knew it
Ooh, I'll make it through
The time has come for me
To break out of the shell
I have to shout
That I am coming out
I'm coming out
I want the world to know
Got to let it show
I'm coming out
I want the world to know
I got to let it show
I've got to show the world
All that I wanna be
And all my billities
There's so much more to me
Somehow, I have to make them
Just understand
I got it well in hand
And, oh, how I've planned
I'm spreadin' love
There is no need to fear
And I just feel so good
Everytime I hear:
I'm coming out
I want the world to know
Got to let it show
I'm coming out
I want the world to know
Got to let it show
There 's a new me coming out
And I just have to live
And I wanna give
I'm completely positive
I think this time around
I am gonna do it
Like you never knew it
Ooh, I'll make it through
The time has come for me
To break out of the shell
I have to shout
That I am coming out
I'm coming out
I want the world to know
Got to let it show
I'm coming out
I want the world to know
I got to let it show
I've got to show the world
All that I wanna be
And all my billities
There's so much more to me
Somehow, I have to make them
Just understand
I got it well in hand
And, oh, how I've planned
I'm spreadin' love
There is no need to fear
And I just feel so good
Everytime I hear:
I'm coming out
I want the world to know
Got to let it show
I'm coming out
I want the world to know
Got to let it show
the short blog about LSL
I’m late by a few days haha but I'm eventually going to blog about it. In a few words it was AMAZING. that's only one word but it's good enough. It's really late and it would take me forever to blog about every single thing because I don't want to leave anything out! my hair looks gross! haha
Wednesday, July 15, 2009
Happy 17th Birthday Jocelyn!
lots of walking & eatingand some lvy goodness
Today I had meeting for LSL. Kinda nervous for it and kind of a little excited. Nervous for meeting other people and just that whole getting to know you sort of thing, and also finding a friend there. I really hope I won't be friendless or even buddyless. Maybe this experience will be a good one and I can learn a lot of stuff. Actually being LVY really changed me. It's definitley changed how I meet other people and socializing. I guess when you're given a leadership role you just get that boost of confidence that you're in charge of something and people are looking to you for guidence. Something like that. I feel like I can't fully explain it because I'm really tired right now. I think I'm less paranoid about meeting other people, still might be awkward but I try not to think about that first. I could go on but I just made this blog a lot longer than i wanted it to be. omg I am so excited to be in charge of the prayer service! *sarcasm
I think this is the second day I've walked the most, 1st was independence day. It's tough getting Jocelyn a gift, you aren't really sure what she wants or needs. But Maria, Cassandra, and me did it! We got her oil pastels, charcoal pencils, clay eraser, twix, blending stubs, and this cute jar shaped like a bear. I think she liked it. First I had to walk up the hill to get to the california bus stop, so tiring considering it was also hot. I LOVE NICE WEATHER! and before that my mom and me had sushi at japan town. that soba special really filled me up. Anyways we walked everywhere getting parts for Jocelyn's gift. I really miss Jocelyn, I haven't actually hung out with her for a long time like just 3 or 4 people or even hanging out at her house playing sims, I'll always remember that. She works sooo hard! She really is an inspiration or even a sign to get my butt going to get some work done. balancing out work and free time is pretty important. I should try to remember that. I think Jocelyn deserves a break, or at least 1 day off of her constantly busy schedule. I don't remember myself getting so full from dinner. It was nice having so many plates of food and I'm still fuuuulll. thanks for the dinner jocelyn, I miss you and I hope you had a happy birthday =)
We had a good conversation..
dotluvsu: it's still like that when you get a little older
dotluvsu: and personally
dotluvsu: i don't think that means you're a different person
dotluvsu: you just show different sides of you at different times
dotluvsu: because some things are appropriate at certain times
dotluvsu: and not appropriate at other times
i said something here like yeah i like talking about this stuff and then she told me
dotluvsu: hehe
dotluvsu: you probably won't get this now
dotluvsu: but you can think of it this way
dotluvsu: one day, when you are in a relationship with someone
dotluvsu: you will have to show them all sides of you
dotluvsu: good bad
dotluvsu: appropriate
dotluvsu: inappropriate
dotluvsu: and the way you know that person is right for you
dotluvsu: is that they will accept you for exactly who you are
dotluvsu: for all the different sides of you
Today I had meeting for LSL. Kinda nervous for it and kind of a little excited. Nervous for meeting other people and just that whole getting to know you sort of thing, and also finding a friend there. I really hope I won't be friendless or even buddyless. Maybe this experience will be a good one and I can learn a lot of stuff. Actually being LVY really changed me. It's definitley changed how I meet other people and socializing. I guess when you're given a leadership role you just get that boost of confidence that you're in charge of something and people are looking to you for guidence. Something like that. I feel like I can't fully explain it because I'm really tired right now. I think I'm less paranoid about meeting other people, still might be awkward but I try not to think about that first. I could go on but I just made this blog a lot longer than i wanted it to be. omg I am so excited to be in charge of the prayer service! *sarcasm
I think this is the second day I've walked the most, 1st was independence day. It's tough getting Jocelyn a gift, you aren't really sure what she wants or needs. But Maria, Cassandra, and me did it! We got her oil pastels, charcoal pencils, clay eraser, twix, blending stubs, and this cute jar shaped like a bear. I think she liked it. First I had to walk up the hill to get to the california bus stop, so tiring considering it was also hot. I LOVE NICE WEATHER! and before that my mom and me had sushi at japan town. that soba special really filled me up. Anyways we walked everywhere getting parts for Jocelyn's gift. I really miss Jocelyn, I haven't actually hung out with her for a long time like just 3 or 4 people or even hanging out at her house playing sims, I'll always remember that. She works sooo hard! She really is an inspiration or even a sign to get my butt going to get some work done. balancing out work and free time is pretty important. I should try to remember that. I think Jocelyn deserves a break, or at least 1 day off of her constantly busy schedule. I don't remember myself getting so full from dinner. It was nice having so many plates of food and I'm still fuuuulll. thanks for the dinner jocelyn, I miss you and I hope you had a happy birthday =)
We had a good conversation..
dotluvsu: it's still like that when you get a little older
dotluvsu: and personally
dotluvsu: i don't think that means you're a different person
dotluvsu: you just show different sides of you at different times
dotluvsu: because some things are appropriate at certain times
dotluvsu: and not appropriate at other times
i said something here like yeah i like talking about this stuff and then she told me
dotluvsu: hehe
dotluvsu: you probably won't get this now
dotluvsu: but you can think of it this way
dotluvsu: one day, when you are in a relationship with someone
dotluvsu: you will have to show them all sides of you
dotluvsu: good bad
dotluvsu: appropriate
dotluvsu: inappropriate
dotluvsu: and the way you know that person is right for you
dotluvsu: is that they will accept you for exactly who you are
dotluvsu: for all the different sides of you
Sunday, July 12, 2009
sorry i left you
THE RANDOM THOUGHT BLOG
I haven't been blogging in a long time. I think I'm just too lazy, but if I start now maybe I'll keep up with it. I don't know why but some of these days are just getting boring. I need to go out there and do something so I won't have to stare at the screen the whole day and also pig out on snacks. Speaking of snacks, I think tomorrow I'm going to make cupcakes. I'm supposed to have a meeting on either the 14th or the 16th about LSL and I haven't started that slideshow yet.. and I don't even know if Elena finalized the script.. I got a webcam! except that my faces takes up a lot of space lol Finished with Life as We Knew it, which is a really good book. I can't believe that was our summer reading book. I would have more things to do if I was in an AP class or some form of a class that shows a college, "Hey this person tried and was somewhat smart." This blog is jumble of things going in my mind I guess. I wonder if I'm ever going to pay Alyssa back. I wonder if other people don't trust me to lend me money because I haven't payed her back. I need to volunteer! I need more sleep. I need to clean my room. I need to exercise. LEARN HOW TO RIDE A BICYCLE! gosh Stephanie do something productive with your life and stop wasting away your summer and then when you're in school you have to worry about college and do applications and personal statements and then you wish it were summer again and that you had started then. The stupid computer doesn't get cd's but gets dvd's. I hate when technology fails. tiiiiiiiiiired. MJ, your music and your dance moves will always be the best! rest in peace. I wonder if maria has any classes with me. I better do something so I can feel the beautiful feeling of being accomplished. I am so lazy! and if that's not even worse, my gpa will make me be rejected from most uc's. I am so pessimistic! I'd like to order some optimism please, BJ. I don't think this blog should be read, and I don't think I'll read it again lol
One time i was in bed after I read my summer reading book and somehow I just thought of how honest I am to other people. I don't think I am truthfully honest to other people, even though I think I'm an honest person. Is that a different thing? I guess honesty can have different meanings. There are some things that I will never tell a person directly to them. It's not an insult, but what i was thinking was my relationship with other people. I don't think they honestly know what I think about them. Anyways when I was about to sleep I thought of the idea of writing everybody a letter about how honestly I thought our relationship was and how to improve it. If only life was that easy and I could tell them in person how I really thought about them and empty out some feelings from my brain. It would be cool if my family and my friends told me what they thought about me. I know i would be a little sensitive to some of the comments, but I'm not a perfect person. Sometimes I wish I could be that friendly person that everybody likes and isn't made fun of or looked down on. Maybe there isn't really a person like that because everyone has some kind of problem right? I don't know.. Back to writing a letter, I think I just thought of that because I realized I'm not thaat close to my family. They don't really know much about me I think. Also some of my friends don't know me all too well either. I wonder sometimes what my family and some of my friends think of me. and to think all this came from my summer reading book! ok I'm done no more thinking about this so much cause i'm tired.
sorry this blog was not very readable.. forgot to mention some other things like hangouts, but I'll mention that later maybe :)
I haven't been blogging in a long time. I think I'm just too lazy, but if I start now maybe I'll keep up with it. I don't know why but some of these days are just getting boring. I need to go out there and do something so I won't have to stare at the screen the whole day and also pig out on snacks. Speaking of snacks, I think tomorrow I'm going to make cupcakes. I'm supposed to have a meeting on either the 14th or the 16th about LSL and I haven't started that slideshow yet.. and I don't even know if Elena finalized the script.. I got a webcam! except that my faces takes up a lot of space lol Finished with Life as We Knew it, which is a really good book. I can't believe that was our summer reading book. I would have more things to do if I was in an AP class or some form of a class that shows a college, "Hey this person tried and was somewhat smart." This blog is jumble of things going in my mind I guess. I wonder if I'm ever going to pay Alyssa back. I wonder if other people don't trust me to lend me money because I haven't payed her back. I need to volunteer! I need more sleep. I need to clean my room. I need to exercise. LEARN HOW TO RIDE A BICYCLE! gosh Stephanie do something productive with your life and stop wasting away your summer and then when you're in school you have to worry about college and do applications and personal statements and then you wish it were summer again and that you had started then. The stupid computer doesn't get cd's but gets dvd's. I hate when technology fails. tiiiiiiiiiired. MJ, your music and your dance moves will always be the best! rest in peace. I wonder if maria has any classes with me. I better do something so I can feel the beautiful feeling of being accomplished. I am so lazy! and if that's not even worse, my gpa will make me be rejected from most uc's. I am so pessimistic! I'd like to order some optimism please, BJ. I don't think this blog should be read, and I don't think I'll read it again lol
One time i was in bed after I read my summer reading book and somehow I just thought of how honest I am to other people. I don't think I am truthfully honest to other people, even though I think I'm an honest person. Is that a different thing? I guess honesty can have different meanings. There are some things that I will never tell a person directly to them. It's not an insult, but what i was thinking was my relationship with other people. I don't think they honestly know what I think about them. Anyways when I was about to sleep I thought of the idea of writing everybody a letter about how honestly I thought our relationship was and how to improve it. If only life was that easy and I could tell them in person how I really thought about them and empty out some feelings from my brain. It would be cool if my family and my friends told me what they thought about me. I know i would be a little sensitive to some of the comments, but I'm not a perfect person. Sometimes I wish I could be that friendly person that everybody likes and isn't made fun of or looked down on. Maybe there isn't really a person like that because everyone has some kind of problem right? I don't know.. Back to writing a letter, I think I just thought of that because I realized I'm not thaat close to my family. They don't really know much about me I think. Also some of my friends don't know me all too well either. I wonder sometimes what my family and some of my friends think of me. and to think all this came from my summer reading book! ok I'm done no more thinking about this so much cause i'm tired.
sorry this blog was not very readable.. forgot to mention some other things like hangouts, but I'll mention that later maybe :)
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